How can I feel worthy every day?
The following is an excerpt from my latest article on Thrive Global, originally published on February 22, 2018.
I’ve always been someone who questions herself. My mind whirs with overthinking and second guessing.
“Was that text too much?”
“Was I too short with them in that group chat?”
“Maybe he didn’t ask me out again because he met someone better.”
I noticed this habit of mine most when I was single and dating. Even after having the most connected, flirtatious, blissful dates, I’d close my apartment door at the end of the night and think things like, Was I too serious? Should I have made him laugh more?
This would cause me to draw (inaccurate) conclusions about a lot of things. I’d convince myself he wasn’t going to text or ask me out again. When he did, I remained skeptical of our connection because I had created a belief that I had bombed our first date — so why are we on a second? Surely this budding relationship was a ruse and any minute he’d say, “Just kidding, I don’t like you after all, but leading you on was fun.”
My anxiety and overthinking caused me to keep my guard up, trying to do everything “right” in my relationships, rather than be my authentic self with men.
The story I told myself was, “If I show him who I really am — all my imperfections — he’ll leave me for someone else.” Not the inspiring anthem I’d like playing on repeat in my mind.
I knew I needed to change this narrative to have the life I wanted to live. Deleting that story in my mind led me to my incredible husband of four years. And now, I lead a movement of women who are releasing their “I’m not good enough” stories and claiming their worth, too — especially when it comes to relationships.