How can I keep my New Year's resolution?
By: Laurie Davis Edwards, founder
As I rang in the New Year with my hubby last night, I heard our friends saying things like, "This is going to be the best year yet!" And, "I'm so glad 2018 is here!"
I totally feel the same way!
But it got me thinking about how only a few hours earlier I noticed a lot of people on Facebook saying things like, "Ugh 2017 was the WORST ... I'm so ready for a new year."
What I hear in that is a lot of us begin the year with great intentions and lots of hope, but then end the year it feeling like it didn't meet our expectations. Do you hear that, too?
Let's change that this year.
Here's the thing about expectations: We are the ones who set them. And usually, we want them to be measurable, like lose weight or find love. And that's awesome! These are goals, or resolutions. It's what you want to DO. But it makes me wonder ...
Who do you want to BE this year?
When we focus on a state of being, it's easier to execute and do all the things we want to accomplish. It keeps us doing in an inspired way.
How many times have you said your resolution is to find love, but when you actually start doing it -- putting up your profile, going on dates -- it starts to feel discouraging?
Well, what if instead, you decided you wanted to BE joyful this year. Or maybe you want to BE aligned, or BE excited, or BE peaceful, or whatever it is you want to feel. And then you dated with that as your focus. If it doesn't feel joyful/aligned/excited/peaceful ... what if you gave yourself permission to not do that action?
I don't mean stop dating if you want to find love. I just mean recalibrate and honor the friction.
If you haven't fulfilled your resolutions before, deciding who you want to BE this year is what's been missing.
Here's an example ...
Recently, I did a coaching session with one of my clients and we uncovered that online dating feels the most productive to her in theory, but in reality, it gives her the most anxiety. She decided that what would feel best to her would be to focus on growing her social circle. So she did that.
She wanted to BE social and carefree.
Now, she is all those things. And she's getting results, too. Her new friends are setting her up, she's meeting great guys at dinner parties, and she's feeling inspired to go to events solo. And yes, now she's about to post her profile online -- but it's because she's inspired, not because it's an obligation to reach a goal.
Your resolutions are most powerful when you follow the feeling you want more than the measurable outcome.
I have no doubt that online dating will feel fun and exciting to my client this time around -- and that she'll meet amazing men. It's what happens for all of my clients who focus on being more than doing.
So tell me ... who do you want to be in 2018?